Rise above the noise.

Today I focused on a lesson that has been a hard one for me to learn, something that I personally have struggled with for a long time. No matter what you're doing in life, if you are advancing forward towards a goal, you will alway attract detractors, "haters gonna hate" would be the modern social vernacular for this phenomenon. The startling thing is while we expect "haters" to appear, we don't expect the direction they approach us from. We all put up walls to protect ourselves from these haters, but it's often the ones that we've let inside our walls that can be our greatest critics.

We've all experienced it, when taking a new job, getting a promotion, starting a new business, or embarking on any new journey in life, there's those that we run to first, those that we are excited to brag to, because we expect them to be as excited as we are. Then our big reveal happens and they don't react like you expected, instead of jumping up and down, they simply smile and say congrats, or even worse the wellspring of support you expected is replaced by a flood of criticism.

This doesn't have to be a one-time thing, more often then not these "frienemies" as you may come to think of them, are relentless in their assault on you idea, your vision, and your life. This hurts more than the random hater, the person that you can ignore, as these people are the people that you know, trust, and have leaned on in the past.

Sometimes we have to simply focus on rising above the noise, and realize that those that should be our largest support are our biggest critics, not necessarily on purpose, but through a misguided attempt to help.

Community.

Tonight I attended the birthday party of one of my best friends, a man whom I love, respect, and am honored to be associated with. While I'm a certain special kind of stubborn when it comes to my opinions, when this man talks, I listen. I've watched him develop as a leader and as a man. I've watched him talk to his children, both the ones that live in his house and those that he adopts and brings into his life. I've been proud the times when I was his friend, and humble the times that he has mentored me. He's changed my life in many ways, all for the better, and I couldn't be more grateful to him. This blog post isn't about how much he means to me, he knows that, rather I'd like to discuss what I saw tonight at his party.

Tonight at a small gathering of friends and family, I got to look at my friend in another way, through the eyes of those gathered to celebrate with him. There were people from all walks of life, some that I knew well, and others that I didn't, the one thing that we all had in common was my friend, and our mutual love and respect for him. We all gathered around this one social nexus and in doing so not only enriched his life, we were able to enrich our own lives simply by congregating with one simple purpose.

I was able to step back tonight and observe for a few moments what community really looks like, to see people gathering for a reason, interacting and coming together for a common goal. There's something incredible about community, something incredible about mutual love and respect overlapping, all coming together. While some might define a community as a geographic area that folks live in, I know that I witnessed the true meaning tonight.

Reflections on a struggle

Day 2 of my 90 day challenge started out early, I was down at Lake Hollingsworth (a local running and biking hotspot) with 7 other members of my local triathlon club, FR Racing (www.frracing.net). Getting out in the early morning hours, in this case before the sun had a chance to show its face, is a magical thing. There's something special about getting your workout done in the darkness, before the rest of the world has lifted their heads from the pillow, You feel a sense of accomplishment getting home before school traffic, before most people have even hit their snooze button for the first time.

Today was scheduled to be an hour and a half at an "uncomfortable pace" Well in the first 5 minutes I found my "uncomfortable pace" and that seemed to be simply pedaling. While I did best my last personal best for a lap around the lake by almost a minute, I couldn't sustain myself, even at a much slower pace. I was on a new bike, I was grabbing too big of a gear, I didn't get enough sleep, there's all sorts of excuses I could place on why I wasn't performing up to what I should, but the truth of the matter is, it was just one of those days.

Some days you go out and feel like you can't do any wrong, you run like the wind, or pedal like a Tour de France Winner, or maybe you glide through the water like Phelps. Those days are magical, those days are meant to be cherished.

Where there is light however, there is always shadow. The shadow is those days where you don't want to, those days when you don't feel like it, the days that you're already tired, worn down, or frustrated before you even start, the days that you just can't seem to get it going. These are the days that will haunt you, the days that will cause you to put your head down in shame, to rethink what you're doing, doubt your training, your nutrition, even your love of the sport. These are the days that really define you as an athlete, the down days, the days when you struggle.

Everyone remembers Phelps winning Golds, Meb triumphantly crossing the finish line, Ripken's 2,131st game. What people tend to forget is the days that Cal showed up not feeling great and went 0-5, or the long training days in heat or rain, with blisters or pain that Meb endured, the seemingly endless lengths of the pool that Phelps swam before the Olympic spotlight shone on him. We focus on others "highlights" and compare our everyday to that, we think about our personal bests, and wonder why we can't beat them every time. The truth is training is a struggle, winning is far less about the moment of achievement that is so visible, and far more about the hours, days, weeks, months, & years of preperation, sweat and hard work that led up to that moment.

While we all want to have that "Big Victory", our "Gold Medal Moment", we have to learn to look forward to, enjoy and even celebrate the hard days, because without their presence and our desire to push through them... our victories will never come. Next time you have a hard day, don't think about Ripken's 2,131st game, think about what it took for him to lace up for game 945 when he wasn't feeling well, think about Meb's endless training runs, and celebrate the fact that you are a doer, and only through that doing will true achievement ever be realized.

The real inspiration.

I recently finished a race, near the back of the pack, I went out and simply enjoyed myself, while pushing my 3 year-old son in a stroller. While there were some great stories in this race, some I knew (a friend winning her age group the first time), and many more I did not. The story that I saw though was one that I felt I had to share.

While running off my normal pace, I ran next to men out of breath, running their first 5k. I ran with women who were struggling to walk 3.1 miles. I ran with children with such incredible joy written across their faces. The people near the back of the pack might not call themselves runners, they certainly finished well behind the front of the pack, some of which were probably home by the time the last runner crossed the finish line. While there's no taking away from the accomplishment of the runner that wins the race, their hard work determination and effort are what got them there after all, but I'd like to take a moment and applaud those at the back of the pack, those that didn't win a spot on the podium, but that simply won a personal victory by showing up and putting in the work to finish. We'll never see these folks on the front of "Runner Magazine", you'll never see them in bright gleaming HD on coverage of your favorite race. Where you will see these folks is at the next race, at the gym, and at your office.

To those that are out there just to complete it, to whom running a 9 minute mile seems a Herculean effort, I salute you, I cheer for you, and I respect you. Those at the front of the pack are runners, this is true, but no more than those that stumble across the finish line 30 minutes later, with a smile on their face, a sweaty hug for their friends and family, and maybe even a bit of a limp. There might not be as many people at the finish line when you make it across, but don't let that lessen you sense of accomplishment. Take that race shirt, wear it proudly, and brag to everyone that will listen about your race! Congrats back of the pack, you're what truly inspires me.